The wanting

You are not your past. You can be better than that if you want to be.
The key here is the wanting.
How often have you desired something you felt you would do anything for?
It may have been getting to know that boy or girl you crushed on in school. Or perhaps achieving the highest grade in the class. For some, it could have been saving up for that first car. I recall how I felt when pursuing a mortgage on my first home. The fixer-upper one-bedroom house — small, and pink — sat on a quarter-acre in Helena, Montana. The price was $45,000. That’s less than many cars nowadays.
Yes, a sight to see, to be sure. Yet, my $19,000 annual State salary allowed it, and that first mortgage ushered me into real estate ownership. Yippee!
The key was in the wanting.
Sometimes, parents will tell their children that they can be anything they want to be in this world. It’s not true. But, the point is to allow the child to envision the opportunities that lie ahead. They should not be afraid to reach out for them.
But there will be times when life throws curveballs at us, or we make unwise decisions that cause us harm. Poor decisions can lead to financial ruin, failed relationships, loss of jobs and, most harmful, loss of our sense of self. When we lose the essence of who we are as a person, that core identity that was a guiding compass, we’ve lost a lot. For some, it’s too much to lose.
The other day, while walking in downtown Sacramento, I saw so many people living on the street. It stunned me. I don’t know their stories. Or what hardships they endured. Whether their own poor decisions put them there.
What I know is that each day brings another opportunity to change things. I’ve heard the stories of individuals who have been homeless and eventually able to become housed again. I’ve met individuals who lived on the street for a time because of addictions and who now live entirely different lives — clean, free and housed.
One common thread among these has been the wanting.
Despite the challenges they faced, they didn’t give up on wanting to do better. My past situation wasn’t as desperate as homelessness or drug addiction. Still, it ruined my life. But like those men and women who kicked their habits and got their lives back on track for themselves and their families, I too wanted.
To be better. To do better.
If you are struggling right now with issues, know that you are not alone. Many of us have endured and persevered. We’ve come out the other end better men and women. Better husbands and wives, better brothers and sisters, better friends. In short- better people.
The change started within us and can start within you too. It’s in the wanting. You can be better than that if you want to be.
You can do it.
© Marc Townsend